At Con on the Cob this year, the Wandering Men were fortunate enough to be sponsors for an annual event called Larry Elmore's Iron Artist, featuring (of course) the well-known fantasy artist, Larry Elmore. We were pleased as punch to be associated and involved with such an awesome guy, but once the competition began, the Wandering Men became a bit more....involved. Read on for the story and Hall's hilarious re-counting of the spectacular event!
"Tell me what you draw and I'll tell you what you are."
- Brillat-Savarin, Artist
Four years ago, a man's fantasy became a reality in a form never seen before: Artist Stadium, a giant studio table arena. The motivation for spending his fortune to create Artist Stadium was to encounter new original Art which could be called true artistic creations. To realize his dream, he secretly started choosing the top Artists of various styles, and he named his men the Iron Artists: the invincible creators of Artistic Mastery. Artist Stadium is the arena where Iron Artists await the challenges of master artisans from around the world. Both the Iron Artists and challengers have one hour to tackle the theme medium of the day. Using all their senses, skill, and creativity, they are to prepare artistic works like never seen before. And if ever a challenger wins over the iron artist, he or she will gain the people's ovation and fame forever. Every battle, reputations are on the line in
Artist Stadium, where master artisans pit their artistic creations against each other. What inspiration does today's challenger bring? And how will the Iron Artist fight back? The paint will be on!
The Chairman!
Ah, Akron: This sleepy city nestled almost in the extreme north of Ohio, the worlds largest state to drive across, is where the inspiration of today's Medium manipulating Artistic endeavor can be found. The actual word Akron was once synonymous with artistic expression. It was here that Chairman Hultgren decided to set up for his battle.
Four Artists were sought after to challenge the Chairman's Iron Artists. Many artists clamored at the chance no matter how slim it might seem, to rise to the ranks of Iron Artist status, but only four
succeeded. Each considered the best at their trade found their way across the flat landscape of Ohio and to the tall sign in the hotel lobby reaching like a spire to heaven, where for some reason they had to ask directions at the near by Wandering Men booth. Who are these masters of medium manipulation?
From the Land of Lilliput where miniatures line up just to catch a glimpse of her sculpting tools,
The Masterful Manipulator of Miniature Manicures...Sandra Garrity!
Sandra Garrity
From the Amish touched lands of Pennsylvania our next challenger brings with him the ability to bridge the gap between tradition and technology. The Magical Merger of Mac's and Markers...Charles Urbach!
Charles Urbach
Handed the Quill of Talent by Apollo himself and given the ability to commune with the nine muses our next challenger hales from Indiana. The Pristine Presenter of Proper Plumage...Liz "Galindorf" Harper
Liz "Galindorf" Harper
Born in the gap between art and madness our next challenger maintains the perfect balance between the two worlds controlling the very fibers of each. The Fabulous Flamboyant Fedora Flaunting Queen...Lydia Burris
Lydia Burris
These are the Challengers chosen by their incredible talents and their uncanny speed at signing up for this event on line. But can they compete with our Iron Artist. Can one of them possibly rise to the level of esteemed honor and be found worthy to the hold the title of Iron Artist? As the lights dim in Artist stadium one by one the portraits of our Iron Artists are lit. Iron Artist Leonardo Di Vinci, The first Iron Artist; Iron Artist N.C. Wyeth Master Illustrator; Iron Artist Maxfield Parrish the Master of Luminosity; Iron Artist Frank Frazetta, Master Painter. The fame and level of talent have earned them the right to be called the greatest, to be called Iron Artists.
Descending into Artist Stadium is the newest of Iron Artists. Though new to Artist Stadium in comparison this being of pure talent and skill holds multiple wins in Artist Stadium and in the hearts of his adoring fans. This Iron Artist from Kentucky has set artistic standards across the fantasy and sci-fi genres that have shaped and molded it into what we know it as today. Influenced by Celtic myth and lore he has become the most widely known artist in the industry. To aspire to reach his level of talent is humbling. To know him is to be honored. To party with him just plain ROCKS! We welcome to Artist Stadium...Iron Artist Larry Elmore!
Larry Elmore!
As the opening ceremonies of Iron Artist came to a close and the Iron Artist took his place in Artist Stadium the Challengers though visibly shaken by the Chairman's choice were ready to begin. Floor announcer and the fastest moving most laid back guy you'll ever meet Andy Hopp, calls forth the themed ingredient for the battle.
Andy Hopp
The themed ingredient was brought into Artist Stadium and placed before our Iron Chef and the Challengers shrouded in the ceremonial green shroud. What masterful medium has our Chairman conceived of this time. Will it break the spirit of our artists???
"And the Themed ingredient is........"
PASTA!!!!!
Pasta. The backbone of the civilized world. It is widely said that "Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it." The earliest known pasta was found over 4000 years ago packed in the mountains of china still edible. Named after its creator, Ramen, the pasta is sold in stores to this very day. Pastas diverse capabilities lend it to be the most versatile item in existence, second only Duct Tape and the substance Andy uses in his hair to get it to look...well "Andy-like"... The first known usage of pasta in art dates back to 1502 where Iron Artist Leonardo Da Vinci designed the Macarona Lisa. Sadly this masterpiece was lost in the Italian Renaissance due to an over zealous chef. So remember, not to forget the pasta lest you be condemned to reheat it.
Chairman Hultgren cast his all inspiring gaze over the assembled Artists, his gaze returning to the mound of Pasta and said. "Allez Cr
