That was real funny. I wrote a reply to it, but the reply became so long I think I'll just use it in my blog. Here it is.
Mr. Lucas, Your powers have grown weak, old man. The holes, the holes, the giant holes! If you but would have lived up to the promise, if you had shown what you could do in A New Hope and Empire. But no, you turned to the lame side with ewoks and thought that was why everyone liked Return. But no, Return was great because Jabba was turned into a greasy spot in the desert, Fett was toast (but a belching sarlack was insanely stupid), Vader got redeemed, and the space fights were just plain awesome.
BUT EWOKS WERE LAME. Chewbacca doing that Tarzan scream was LAME in Return. But these were but portents. Real horror lay in the future.
Midichlorians were ABSURDLY LAME - oh my goodness how utterly and completely lame and Star Trek The Next Generation of Lucas! But no, we can't just be assaulted with that little bit of stupidity. Old Ben just got it wrong when he told Luke about the force, eh? It isn't some mystical force but an infection! An infestation in our blood! Good grief and stab my eyes how LAME that is. And Jar Jar??? Can't find actors who actually can pull of good one liners like old Harry and Carrie, eh??? So you'll just make up Mr. Flappyears, give him a Jamacan accent, and make him step in piles of feces and get his tongue electrocuted and we are supposed to laugh??? Not only does it not work, but it is LAME, it is so far beyond idiotic that Cardasians and Bjorans stopped their little holy war to turn and shake their heads in disbelief. You relaxed a bit in Attack of the Clones, but still your brilliant choices in Hayden and Natalie were just as entertaining as watching my highschool human anatomy teacher tell the class to "Hruushhhhhhhh" - but smelled worse! The C3P0 head-change was amusing for 3/10's of a nanosecond, then became LAME oh so utterly LAME!
Then you give us the nasal drippings of story with Revenged of the Sith (I sure felt like revenged upon, but that was my colon hoping to expel from my body all remnants of memory from the movie - hasn't worked yet). General Grievous is beyond absurd and should have been left on the digital cutting room floor. If only you had pressed the delete button on him. But NO, you couldn't do that. Noooo, you gotta screw with us, eh? And though real acting talent existed with Ian and Christopher, your direction of them was pitiful and you put more focus on the talentless faces in the beginning. Were I Ewan McGregor, I would demand my face be removed from that trash. But oh, wait, no, you don't leave us with just that, you show us your tactical genius, GENIUS, with that whole "You can't win, I have the high ground!" Come on, he wasn't some king of the hill, he was on the side of the slope. Good old Darth could have jumped beside him and, hey, he's got it, too! Oh come on! Good grief! Did we really SEE that? And by the way, since we know Princess Lea LIED about her dear old mom, tell us, just how DID dear old mom die? She just lost the will to live? Was it a late night working on the script, Georgie boy? Did you REALLY decide that was high drama? The best part of that was it meant the movie was almost over. Oh, yeah, like in Return, that whole Wookie-Tarzan thing is LAME.
But no, no, no, you can't just give us the enema of a generation, you gotta give us Darth Vader's rebuilding and Frankenstein re-birth! Though, I must admit, it was was very good symbolism. Instead of being a great, original movie, it was a cobbling of putrid, rotting, needless parts. Oh, and don't know about you, George, but David Prowse was a bit bigger than Hayden. Or, as the good Princess noted, "Aren't you a little short..."
Dear old Alec and Peter will rise again from the dead and their revenant spirits will come to your house for this desecration, pal, and they've got this can they're gonna open.
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