I am an engineer, so when it comes to women I'm usually as smooth as sandpaper and I have negative game. Also, I am a very straight forward person - I don't understand playing games when it comes to dating. Yep, I am innocent and gullible, and it has worked to my detriment here in Japan where a tall, well built, engineer is very attractive to a number of women.
First, don't get the wrong impression - I don't view women as objects, I'm not preoccupied with finding my next score, and I don't sleep around. I enter every relationship hoping to make a friend, nothing more. Unfortunately, it seems, that is not the norm, or what women are expecting, especially from American men over here.
The situation: there is a bar a stone's throw from my hotel. The prices are very reasonable, the majority of the customers are American, and it has a hopping Friday night. Can you guess where I was my first Friday (my third day) in Japan?
While the patrons are primarily American, the bartenders and waitresses are Japanese, and I find Japanese women attractive (something this trip has taught me). The first Friday night, I noticed one of the waitresses kept throwing glances my direction. If I noticed her attention, given that I had a few drinks, I thought there had to be something to it. I conferred with my two drinking buddies - a former Army Warrant and a former Marine - and they urged me to action. Big surprise there.
I know, alarm bells should have been ringing. In the States, the chances of a guy in a bar getting a date with a bartender or waitresses is slim to none. They're usually just angling for better tips. Remember that statement about being gullible? Well, add naive too.
I struck up a conversation with the waitress, she spoke English well, and I really got interested in her "story." She was from Japan and spent a short amount of time in the Japanese Navy before she quit and moved to Okinawa. We had to cut out chat short because the bar quickly got busy and she had to get to work. My negative game struck, and I left without her number.
Fast forward to next Friday (she only works on Fridays), and I was already well on my way thanks to Awamori. She was really friendly initially, and we tipped well (hmmm). I managed to give her my card with my cell number, but then I proceeded to get hammered and made a small fool of myself. She ignored me completely from midnight until closing. The next morning I wrote the whole thing off.
Surprise! She called me Saturday night, but I couldn't join her or her friends for dinner because I didn't have a ride! She told me, "I want to see yo before you leave. Maybe next week then." Woe of woes! She even sent me a flowery text message to the effect of: "wish you were here." Thus, I thought I could salvage a chance for a date, and I tried to set something up for Wednesday night. However, she sent a text message on Wed: "sorry I have to work late - see you on Friday." Hrrrrmmmm.
OK, Friday. I really wasn't drinking - I was watching out for my friends who had too much Awamori (one lesson learned). She was very friendly and dropped plenty of compliments. Again, we tipped well (hmmmm). At the end of the night, I tried to set up something for the following week, and I got the cold shoulder: "I'll call you."
Mm, hmm, yep - even I'm not that dense. She was fishing for tips, and I swallowed the bait up to my gills.
I should look at it as a valuable education, but it is tough since I feel used. If I had understood it was just a game from the beginning (like I should have), I wouldn't have even pursued trying to go out on a date. I understand the game better now, but I don't want to play it. Silly me, thinking people should be straightforward.
You need to get out more. Women are the same no matter what country of their origin. What were you expecting anyway ... a relationship? Or, have you just proven that all men are alike?
Honestly, I just wanted to go out to lunch or dinner and get to talk to someone new. I wanted to hear her story. I am a writer - the more people I know and talk with, the richer my stories and characters become.
Subscribe!
Share this with others:
Share this with others: